I (31M) have been married to my wife, “Sophie” (29F), for four years. We’re expecting our first child, and she’s about 7 months along now. Overall, I’ve tried to be as supportive as possible during her pregnancy — helping around the house more, going to appointments, and picking up random cravings at 11 PM when she suddenly needs ice cream or pickles.

I love her, and I’m genuinely excited to become a dad. But lately, things have been… tense.

The Weight Gain Issue

Pregnancy comes with weight gain — we both knew that. Her doctor has said everything is within a healthy range, though she’s gained a little more than average. It’s not alarming, but Sophie is very self-conscious about it.

She’s always been petite; seeing her body change has been hard. I try to reassure her — I tell her she’s beautiful, I rub her back when she cries, and I tell her weight gain is natural during pregnancy.

But instead of believing me, she’s started blaming me.

How She Blames Me

It started small. If I brought home snacks or suggested takeout, she’d joke, “You’re making me fat.” But over the past few months, it’s escalated.

Now, whenever she looks in the mirror or steps on the scale, she says things like:

• “This is your fault. You did this to me.”
• “If you hadn’t gotten me pregnant, I wouldn’t look like this.”
• “You keep bringing me food and now I can’t stop eating it.”

At first, I brushed it off as hormones and insecurity. But hearing it every day has started to wear me down.

The Breaking Point

Last week, Sophie was trying to get dressed and had a meltdown because nothing fit. She started crying and snapped at me: “I hate what’s happening to me. This is all your fault. You made me like this.”

I tried to comfort her, but she pushed me away. That’s when I finally said, “Sophie, please stop blaming me for your weight gain. It’s pregnancy. It’s not my fault, and it’s not yours either.”

She went silent, then stormed off. Later, she told me I was “unsupportive” and I “don’t understand what it feels like.”

Her Reaction

Since then, she’s been cold with me. She said I don’t get how hard it is to watch her body change and that I should’ve just let her vent instead of “making it about myself.”

I told her I am supportive, but being blamed constantly for something out of my control is exhausting. She said if I loved her, I’d understand that it’s “part of the deal” of pregnancy.

Now I feel torn.

Why I Don’t Think I’m Wrong

Here’s why I don’t think I’m the asshole:

1. Pregnancy weight gain isn’t my fault. It’s biology. Blaming me daily isn’t fair.
2. I’ve been supportive. I’ve gone out of my way to reassure, compliment, and help her.
3. Boundaries matter. Being her emotional punching bag isn’t healthy for either of us.
4. I didn’t insult her. I didn’t say she was unattractive or complain about her body. I only asked her to stop blaming me.

Why I Still Feel Guilty

But I also know hormones and emotions are wild during pregnancy. Maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut and let her vent. Maybe telling her to stop was selfish when she’s actually going through the physical changes.

I worry I made her feel worse about something she’s already insecure about.

What Friends Have Said

I talked to a close friend (who has kids), and he said, “Yeah, my wife said crazy stuff during pregnancy too. Just roll with it.”

Another friend said, “No, you have every right to stand up for yourself. Don’t let her guilt you for something that isn’t your fault.”

So even among friends, opinions are split.

The Bigger Picture

This whole situation makes me realize how difficult pregnancy is — not just physically, but emotionally. Sophie is carrying so much, literally and figuratively.

I want to be there for her. I want to be the partner she needs. But I also don’t want to resent her because she keeps blaming me for something out of my control.

AITA?

So Reddit — AITA for telling my pregnant wife to stop blaming me for her weight gain? Should I have just taken it on the chin because she’s going through something I can’t fully understand, or was I right to set that boundary?

Mock Reddit Comment Section

[NTA] (⬆️ 23.7k)

You didn’t insult her or criticize her. You set a boundary. She’s projecting her frustration onto you, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong for asking her to stop.

[NTA] (⬆️ 16.4k)

You’re not responsible for biology. You’re already being supportive. Asking not to be blamed daily is reasonable.

[ESH] (⬆️ 4.8k)

She sucks for taking her insecurities out on you. But telling a pregnant woman to “stop” during a meltdown wasn’t the most brilliant move either. Both sides could’ve handled it better.

[YTA] (⬆️ 3.2k)

I’ll get downvoted, but she’s pregnant. Her body is changing in ways she can’t control. You should’ve let her vent instead of making it about you.

[NAH] (⬆️ 5.5k)

She’s overwhelmed, you’re exhausted—no villains here, just two people dealing with a tough pregnancy.

[NTA — Funny Take] (⬆️ 7.9k)

“YOU made me gain weight!”

Bro, you’re not responsible for baby storage. Biology is.