Background: My Side Business

I (34F) work a regular 9-to-5 job, but I also have a side business doing custom embroidery. It started as a hobby about six years ago. I made gifts for friends and family — monogrammed towels, custom hats, and embroidered baby blankets.

Eventually, people started offering to pay me, and I realized I could turn it into something tangible. I now have a small but steady stream of customers. I don’t make enough to quit my day job, but it pays for itself and gives me extra money.

The work takes time. Setting up designs, prepping afabric, stabilizers, and thread changes — it’s not just pressing a button. My prices are fair compared to others in my area.

But not everyone in my family seems to get that.

The Request From My SIL

My sister-in-law “Megan” (31F) has always known about my embroidery. She’s complimented pieces before, but never asked me to make anything.

Last month, she texted me asking if I could embroider some polo shirts with a logo for her husband’s small landscaping business. She wanted about 12 shirts with the same design.

She wrote: “How much would it cost?”

So I treated it like I would any other potential order. I calculated the cost of the shirts, thread, stabilizer, wear and tear on my machine, and my time. I sent her a breakdown: $18 per shirt if she supplied the polos, $25 per shirt if I provided them.

Her Reaction

Megan’s response? A shocked face emoji. Then: “Wait, I thought you’d just do it for free. We’re family.”

I explained that embroidery is my side business, not just a hobby anymore. I said I’d happily give her a family discount (the price I sent already had one built in), but I couldn’t just do 12 shirts for free. That’s hours of work and $200+ worth of supplies.

She got annoyed and said, “Wow, I didn’t realize you cared more about money than family.”

The Fallout

Since then, she’s been cold to me. She complained to my MIL that I “refused to help them.” Now my MIL is involved, saying I should’ve “just done it as a favor” and that family should come before business.

Meanwhile, my husband is on my side. He said Megan is being entitled and doesn’t understand the effort that goes into embroidery.

But the guilt is creeping in. Should I have just done it for free to keep the peace?

Why I Don’t Think I’m Wrong

Here’s why I feel justified:

1. Time is money. A dozen embroidered shirts is hours of work, not a 10-minute craft.
2. Supplies aren’t free. Thread, stabilizer, and electricity all cost something.
3. I already discounted. My price was lower than what I charge strangers.
4. Family ≠ free labor. Just because I have a skill doesn’t mean relatives get unlimited freebies.

Why I Still Feel Guilty

But I also wonder if I was too blunt. Should I have phrased it differently? Should I have offered to do one or two shirts free as a gift, instead of giving her the full price right away?

Now I feel like the “greedy” in-law, even though I treated her like any other customer.

What Friends Have Said

I vented to some friends. All of them said Megan was out of line. One friend said, “She wouldn’t expect a mechanic brother-in-law to fix her car for free. Why should your time be different?”

Another said, “This is exactly why you should always charge family — otherwise they’ll walk all over you.”

Still, a part of me feels uneasy because my in-laws treat me like I’ve done something wrong.

The Bigger Picture

This isn’t just about shirts. It’s about respect. Megan doesn’t respect my time or my craft. To her, embroidery is a cute hobby, not a legitimate business.

I want to set boundaries now, before it gets worse. But I also don’t want to alienate family.

AITA?

So Reddit — AITAH for giving my SIL a price for embroidered shirts instead of just doing it for free because “we’re family”?