Background: Our Living Situation

I (22F) live at home with my younger brother Ethan (16M) and our parents. Because of my flexible schedule with college and part-time work, I often take on responsibilities around the house. One of those responsibilities is making sure Ethan actually gets up for school.

He’s old enough to set his own alarm, but he has a habit of sleeping through it or hitting snooze too often. The bus comes around 7:30 AM, and if he misses it, someone in the family has to drive him. Usually, that “someone” ends up being me.

Most days it’s fine, but recently Ethan has been slipping up more. That’s when things came to a head.

The Problem: Missing the Bus

Last week, Ethan missed the bus two days in a row.

He told me his alarm “didn’t go off the first time.” The second time, he said he “didn’t hear it.” Both times, I had to rush to drive him to school, making me late for my classes and throwing off my schedule.

What made it worse was his attitude. He didn’t seem sorry. He just shrugged and rolled his eyes, like it wasn’t a big deal. It felt like he didn’t care that his choices were messing with my life.

Why the Internet Came Into Play

Here’s the part where I might be the asshole. Ethan spends hours online every night. He plays games, scrolls TikTok, and talks with his friends. I’ve noticed that he often stays up until 1 or 2 AM, making it hard to get up at 7.

So after the second time he missed the bus, I decided to act. I told him, “If you can’t be responsible enough to wake up and catch the bus, then you can’t be responsible enough to have the internet. No Wi-Fi for a week.”

It wasn’t random—I felt like the late-night internet use was the root cause of his oversleeping.

His Reaction

Ethan was furious. He slammed his bedroom door and sulked for hours. Later, he came out and yelled at me, saying I was “abusing power” and “ruining his social life.” He also said, “You’re not my mom, you can’t punish me.”

Our parents got involved. My mom said she understood my frustration but thought cutting off the internet might have been too extreme. My dad backed me up completely and said Ethan needed to learn responsibility.

Ethan has been giving me the silent treatment since.

Why I Chose That Consequence

Taking away the internet sounds harsh, but it is the only consequence connected directly to the problem.

He stays up late online. Because of that, he oversleeps. Because he overslept, he missed the bus. So, taking away internet access addressed the root cause.

It also sent the message that privileges come with responsibility. You don’t get the perks if you can’t handle basic responsibilities like catching the bus.

And honestly, my time matters too. I lost two mornings because of him, and I’m not okay with letting that slide.

Why I Feel Conflicted

Here’s the thing: I’m not his parent. I don’t technically have the authority to discipline him. That’s our parents’ job. Part of me feels like I crossed a line by taking matters into my own hands.

But at the same time, his choices were directly affecting me. If my parents weren’t enforcing consequences, what was I supposed to do? Just let him keep missing the bus and disrupting my mornings?

That didn’t feel fair either.

What My Friends Said

The opinions were mixed when I told some of my friends about this.

A few of them said I was right—Ethan needed to learn accountability, and the internet ban was a smart way to make him connect his actions to consequences.

Others said I was overstepping and that siblings shouldn’t hand out punishments like parents. One even said, “You’re not his mom, you’re his sister. Stay in your lane.”

Hearing that made me second-guess myself.

Ethan’s Perspective

From Ethan’s point of view, I’m just being controlling. He said I’m making a huge deal out of nothing and that “missing the bus twice isn’t the end of the world.” He also argued that his internet time is “his business” and that I had no right to take it away.

But the thing is, it is my business when I’m the one stuck driving him. It’s not just about him. His irresponsibility affects the whole household, especially me.

The Family Divide

Even within our house, people are split.

My mom thinks I should have left it to her and my dad to deal with. She says she appreciates me helping, but doesn’t want me turning into “the second parent.”

My dad, on the other hand, said I was completely justified. He told Ethan I was right and that he must stop acting entitled.

Ethan, of course, thinks I’m on a power trip. He’s barely spoken to me since.

So now the atmosphere at home feels tense. I overstepped, but I’m also the only one willing to hold him accountable.

Why I Don’t Think I’m Wrong

Despite the guilt, I still think I did the right thing.

Teenagers need structure. Without consequences, they’ll keep pushing boundaries. Ethan is old enough to understand that actions have results.

This affected me directly. If his irresponsibility only impacted him, I wouldn’t have stepped in. But I have every right to set boundaries when I’m losing time and being late because of him.

And most importantly, I targeted the actual problem. He wasn’t missing the bus because his alarm magically didn’t work. He was missing it because he stayed up too late on the internet. Removing that distraction was logical.

My Guilt

Still, I feel guilty. I don’t want to damage my relationship with Ethan by stepping into a parental role. I don’t want him to resent me forever.

Part of me thinks I could have handled it differently—maybe sat down with him and had a calm talk about his sleep habits instead of going straight to punishment.

But another part of me thinks he wouldn’t have listened anyway. Sometimes action speaks louder than a lecture.

The Bigger Picture

This situation really opened my eyes to how complicated sibling dynamics can be. Where do you draw the line between being an older sibling and being an authority figure?

I don’t want to be “the bad guy” in his life. But I also don’t want to be a doormat who cleans up his messes while he coasts.

It also made me realize how easy it is for parents to lean on older siblings. My parents appreciate that I step in, but they also get to avoid conflict when I do. That’s not really fair either.

Am I the Asshole?

So, AITA for taking away my brother’s internet after he missed the bus two days in a row?

On one hand, I feel justified because his actions impacted me and because the internet was directly tied to why he was oversleeping. On the other hand, I know I’m not his parent, and maybe I overstepped by dishing out punishment that wasn’t mine to give.

I didn’t want to be controlling. I just wanted him to be responsible.

Reflection: Lessons Learned

Here’s what I’ve taken from all this:

Boundaries matter. It’s okay to enforce rules when someone else’s actions affect your life.

Consequences should match behavior. The internet ban was fair because it addressed the root cause.

But siblings aren’t parents. At the end of the day, Ethan’s discipline should come from our parents, not me. I stepped into that role because no one else did, but it’s not sustainable long-term.

Communication is important. I probably should have tried talking to Ethan before jumping to punishment, even if I don’t think he would’ve listened.

I still don’t know if I was entirely right or wrong, but I do know this: I can’t let him keep messing up my life without consequences.

Mock Reddit Comment Section

[NTA] (⬆️ 14.6k)

You’re not punishing him for the sake of control; you’re enforcing boundaries because his choices directly impacted you. If he were only screwing up his own schedule, fine, but once you’re late because of him, it’s your business too. Internet privileges are earned, not a right.

[NTA] (⬆️ 9.3k)

Teenagers love staying up late online and acting shocked when they can’t wake up. You targeted the actual problem. Cutting internet time is way more effective than endless nagging. Don’t feel guilty.

[ESH] (⬆️ 3.2k)

Your brother is clearly irresponsible, but you’re not his parent. I get why you were mad, but I think you overstepped by being the one to take the internet. That should’ve been your parents’ job. They suck for leaving you to handle it, he sucks for not waking up, and you suck a little for overstepping.

[NTA — Funny Take] (⬆️ 6.8k)

“Alarm didn’t go off.” Translation: I stayed up till 2 AM watching memes and thought I was immune to consequences. You didn’t ruin his life; you just made him live without Wi-Fi like it was in 1999. He’ll survive. 😂

[NAH] (⬆️ 2.7k)

This is one of those family gray areas. He’s a teenager, of course, he’s irresponsible. You’re the older sibling; of course, you don’t want your day ruined because of him. Your parents should be taking charge, not leaving you to play enforcer—everyone’s doing their best here.

[YTA] (⬆️ 1.9k)

Not a popular take, but yes. You’re his sister, not his mom. Taking his internet away isn’t your responsibility. You could’ve set boundaries like, “If you miss the bus again, I won’t drive you.” That would’ve been more appropriate.

[NTA and I’ve been there] (⬆️ 4.4k)

I had the same problem with my younger brother. He’d stay up gaming, miss the bus, and expect me to drive him. I finally told him no and cut the Wi-Fi one night. Guess what? He started making the bus on time. Sometimes the blunt approach works.

[NTA — Sarcastic Take] (⬆️ 7.1k)

Imagine being 16 and thinking, “missing the bus twice a week isn’t a big deal” while your sister is late to class because of you. 🙄 Bro, this isn’t oppression — it’s called consequences.