AITA for Refusing to Let My In-Laws Use My Bedroom While Staying at Our House for Their Honeymoon?

I (32F) am married to my husband (34M). We’ve been together for almost a decade, and during that time, I’ve had a relatively good relationship with his family. They can be a little overbearing, but nothing outside the usual in-law dynamics.

My husband’s younger brother, “Sam” (29M), is getting married in a few weeks to his fiancée, “Lily” (28F). They’re both wonderful people, and we were genuinely excited for them. We know money is tight for them because they’re paying for their wedding and saving for a down payment on a house. To be kind, my husband and I offered to let them stay at our home for a few days after the wedding so they wouldn’t have to stress about hotel costs.

It was a generous offer. We have a small but cozy house with two bedrooms: our main and guest rooms. The guest room has a comfortable queen bed, fresh linens, and plenty of privacy. It was more than enough for a short honeymoon stay.

The Request That Surprised Me

When we reviewed details with Sam, he casually mentioned that he and Lily were excited to stay in “our bedroom.” I thought he was joking, so I laughed. But he looked at me like I was the weird one and clarified: he meant they’d stay in our actual bedroom, in our bed, while my husband and I could use the guest room or couch.

I was floored. I told him that wasn’t an option. I explained that while I’m happy to host them, I don’t want anyone else sleeping in my personal bedroom, much less a newlywed couple on their honeymoon. It’s not just about the bed — it’s about my privacy, my belongings, and the simple fact that it’s my space.

He acted like I was being dramatic, saying, “It’s just a bed. Why does it matter where you sleep for a few nights?”

My Boundary

I told him the guest room was fully prepared for them and was a lovely space. I also added that if they wanted something more “romantic” or “special,” I’d be happy to help them book a hotel nearby and even cover part of the cost as a wedding gift.

But I held firm in the bedroom. A bedroom is not the same as a living room or kitchen. It’s an intimate space. I don’t like it when people casually go in there to grab something without asking. It’s where I keep personal items, clothes, documents, and — frankly — it’s the one place I feel is mine.

Family Drama

Sam was clearly irritated. He said that since it was their honeymoon, they “deserved” the nicest space in the house, and it was “only a few days.” I disagreed, reminding him that being a guest doesn’t mean you get to dictate terms.

Here’s where it escalated: my mother-in-law got involved. She called me later and said I should “be more accommodating” and “make sacrifices for family.” She said that since we offered to host, we should have expected to give them the best experience possible.

I asked her point-blank if she would let her other son and his wife use her bedroom for their honeymoon. She hesitated and then said, “That’s different.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. How is it different?

My Husband’s Position

My husband is stuck in the middle. To his credit, he supports me and agrees that we don’t have to give up our room. But he’s also the family’s peacekeeper and doesn’t want to start a war over this. He suggested we just let them have the guest room and not discuss it further, which is basically my plan.

Still, I feel bad because I don’t want to cause friction during what’s supposed to be a happy time for them. At the same time, I can’t help but feel like the request itself was entitled and unreasonable.

Why This Bothers Me So Much

I know some people may think I’m overreacting, but I don’t think it’s normal to ask to use someone else’s bedroom. Guests don’t just automatically get to use the host’s bed. If the guest room were a tiny air mattress on the floor, I could see why they’d want something nicer. But it’s a real bed, clean, and private.

On top of that, the honeymoon is supposed to be their private, romantic time. Why would they even want to spend it in someone else’s bed, knowing we use it regularly? That feels awkward to me.

It also sets a weird precedent. If I give in here, what’s next? Do I start giving up my space anytime someone wants it? Hosting should be about generosity, but it doesn’t mean erasing your comfort.

Am I Being Selfish?

The main argument against me is that I should have gone “above and beyond” for their honeymoon, and that refusing is me prioritizing my comfort over their once-in-a-lifetime event. But I see it, we already went above and beyond by offering to host. Most couples plan and budget for a honeymoon or at least a hotel.

I can’t shake the feeling that this was just an entitled ask. But now I’m being painted as selfish and “stingy.” My MIL even hinted that we shouldn’t host them if we “aren’t willing to do it right.”

Part of me wonders if I should rescind the offer and tell them to book a hotel. I don’t want to fight, but I also don’t want to be guilted into something that makes me uncomfortable.

Final Thoughts

So here I am, wondering if I’m in the wrong. Was I supposed to hand over my personal space for the sake of “making their honeymoon special”? Does hosting mean surrendering all boundaries? Or was their request inappropriate, and I’m justified in saying no?

TL;DR

We offered to host my brother-in-law and his new wife after their wedding. They asked if they could use our bedroom during their stay. I said no and offered the guest room or help with a hotel. Now I’m being called selfish by my MIL. AITA?